There’s something wonderful about having someone else choose a wine. Often, it’s a personal favorite, and it feels like a very personal gift since they are willing to share it. It also may be something I never saw or thought to pick up, so it’s a chance to get acquainted with another wonderful wine.
Of course, we all have a few bottles received as gifts that we wish never appeared, and we’ve all probably given a wine like that, too. How to make sure you’re not one of those people ever again? Asking a few questions before you get there is a good place to start.
Always ask before you go to someone’s house whether there is anything you can bring— wine, perchance? It might be that they’ve planned an elaborate dinner paired with wines, in which case you’re better off bringing flowers. A gift of a bottle of wine often makes people feel obligated to open it, and that might create some discomfort if the wine is already planned.
A host isn’t ever obligated to open the wine a guest brings, so if you have a special bottle you really want to taste, leave it at home. Don’t be offended if your hosts choose not to open the wine that evening. You’ve offered them a gift, and it’s not yours to dictate how they use it. Be prepared to hand it over graciously, and leave it there.
If, though, the answer is yes, try to find out what’s for dinner so you can choose a wine that might go well with it. For instance, if it’s steak, you’ll know you’ll be safe bringing a hearty red wine; if it’s fish, better stick to white wine. If it’s pasta, anything goes, but you might up your chances of choosing a compatible match in the Italian wine aisle rather than, say, Australia.
Try to gauge the style of the dinner party, too. If this is a backyard barbecue, an $8 bottle of red will go over much better than it might at a white-tablecloth sit-down dinner. If the host is going all-out for a nice dinner, do the same with the wine. Unless you know a wine to be better than its price would suggest, spend at least $15 on a bottle, more if it’s a wine from an expensive place like Bordeaux or Burgundy.
If you have no idea what sort of scene you are going to walk into, opt either for a pricey favorite that you’d be happy to drink, should they want to open it, or that you can be pretty sure they’ll be happy to have. Don’t ever assume that because your hosts don’t know much about wine, or, in your opinion, don’t have very good taste in wines, that this is an excuse to palm off plonk. If you give them a nice bottle, they just might start liking better wines.
Another good ploy for bringing wines to someone else’s party is to bring something sparkling to start the evening. That way, the wine won’t interfere with whatever they planned for dinner, and it won’t matter if there are nibbles to start or not—sparkling wine goes with just about everything. I’ve met only one person in my life who doesn’t like bubbly, and he’s very nice about it, since he knows that’s pretty unusual.
The other option is to bring something sweet. A lot of people don’t think about dessert wines, though most everyone enjoys them when they are poured. So this is often a place where there’s a space to fill, and the element of surprise come dessert time can make you look like a star.
In the end, whether host or guest, aim to please. You don’t have to spend a lot, but spend enough in thought and money that your guests or hosts know that you care.